What is Perfection?

I have so many posts that I have promised to write on all sorts of subject, particularly book reviews. I am getting super behind on posting this summer. Unfortunately, I'm not going to get started on that list today, but instead I have some more ramblings. Bear with me, and things will go back to normal after school starts (on September 2nd).

I have a problem. I worry too much. I plan too much. I think too much. Sometimes those are good things, but more often then not, they hold me back. For example, my mom goes back to work in a week, effectively meaning that summer is about over for me. My first reaction is to freak out. I naturally would spend that whole week worrying about how boring and sad things are going to be when she goes back to work, and I have to get up early and spend the days with my dad.

I need to stop doing that. My goal this week is to not worry about that. I want to enjoy every day of summer, and spend time with my mom while she is home all day. When the day comes, and she has to go to work, it will be sad, and it will be hard in lots of ways, but there is no reason to worry about it now.

Another way these tendencies of mine hurt me is my perfectionism. There are many things I am terrified to do because I am afraid I won't be perfect. When I started dancing last September, I was so nervous because I was sure that other students would be better then me, or would learn faster then me. Over the last year of dancing, I have found that I really love it. It's true that I am not the fastest learner in the class. I don't have the best rhythm. But my teacher has told me that my form is great, and that my best quality is my persistence. 

It is still hard sometimes, because I know that most of the other girls remember the choreography better then I do. I know that they will probably perfect the new steps faster then I will. But I also know that once I learn a step or a dance, I will never forget it. If I put in the time, I will learn it, and I will learn it well.

I need to stop worrying about being perfect. Dancing has helped, but I have a long ways to go. The stress I feel when things don't go according to plan is not right. I know that I don't need to have perfect grades, or the best posture, or the best hair, and in a way, I don't even care. But something in me cares so deeply.

I'm working on it. It may take a lifetime, but I've already made the first steps. What is perfection, anyway, and why should I need to attain it?

I hope that was not too boring. :) A little window into my brain!